1:08 a.m. - 2009-01-05
trickery
it's hard to keep a positive outlook when everything is clearly falling apart.
i'm ok. what was initially feelings of sadness and hurt, eventually turned to anger. i should have listened to myself in the beginning when i reminded myself that he was not ready to be in a relationship. people can be catalysts for change..but you should never make another human being your EVERYTHING. i ended it, and he went back to his old ways in less than 24 hrs.
he even kissed another girl.
sure he felt like crap afterwards.
we cried on the phone together.
he NOW realizes, that he has to change. for himself, for God..not for me.
timing. it was all wrong. =/ i should have waited til he got to a safe point before i committed. before he could break my heart.
yeah, he didnt CHEAT on me..but he proved me wrong. when everyone else was telling me that they doubted his changes, i was the one who believed that he was making progress and that it was right. it was good.
but he proved me wrong.
everything's hectic in my mind. but im ok. we're still friends.
but
it is SO hard to refuse a person, that you still love, because they have yet to know God.
You�re the ocean deep, I�m in up to my knees,
wanting desperately to drown.
You�re the one bright part, of my languid heart
You�re the love I cannot live without.
Bebo Norman
